Wolves in sheep's clothing?

Over the last few weeks, I've been giving a LOT of thought to the church and how it's to handle false doctrine and those that operate under the "banner of Christ", without actually holding to Biblical teachings. 

It's quite a dilemma!  I find that there are two extremes in most cases.  There are those that choose simply to accept them and shrug their shoulders at their teachings, and there are those that opt to throw labels like "heresy" and "false convert" on them and then exclude the offender from the body of Christ. 

In the past, I've definitely been the latter, but things are changing rapidly for me lately, here are my thoughts.

We've changed churches (again?!?!?!).  Prayerfully this time, it's final.  We really feel like this is the place.  It's a part of the Sovereign Grace fellowship that C.J. Mahaney has put together, and, so far, I can say that I agree with the doctrinal stance of this church! 

Last Sunday, in the new member class, we started discussing the "gifts of the spirit".  The class leader asked if anyone had any questions, so I raised my hand.  I asked about how to tell between FALSE use of gifts like tongues, and the like and how we should go about telling others NOT to support ministries that demonstrated this false fruit.  The answer I received really surprised me.

He opened his response by saying that I should first check my heart for signs of pride and self-righteousness.  *GASP - SHOCK* ME?!?!  Self-righteous!?!?  The opening landed on me hard.  He went on to discuss that we don't know if the offenders are sincere or not.  They could REALLY be trying to serve God with whatever it is they know to do!  He gently reminded me that any knowledge of Christ that we have been given, wasn't because we were so smart to figure it out, but it was a gift given by the Holy Spirit.

This prompted MANY conversations with very close friends.  I shared what I'd been told, and discussed it at length with many different people.  Ultimately I was turned to a book by Randy Alcorn.  The brother I spoke with had told me about this book before so it was kind of funny to me how it came that we were talking about it AGAIN (about 2 weeks after the first conversation).  He had a copy and he let me borrow it.   The book is called "The Grace and Truth Paradox".  I have to say, that I found myself nodding so much I had to take frequent breaks to calm myself because I kept getting excited!

Then later that same week I received an email from a friend (whom I had NOT discussed this with) with an excerpt from the Puritan John Newton that said:

I am not to expect others to see with my eyes! I am deeply convinced of the truth of John the Baptist's aphorism in John 3:27, "A man can receive nothing--except it be given him from Heaven." I well know, that the little measure of knowledge I have obtained in the things of God--has not been owing to my own wisdom and teachableness, but to God's goodness. Nor did I learn everything all at once--God has been pleased to exercise much patience towards me, for the past twenty-seven years--since He first gave me a desire of learning from Himself. He has graciously accommodated Himself to my weakness, borne with my mistakes, and helped me through innumerable prejudices, which, but for His mercy, would have been insuperable hindrances! I have therefore no right to be angry, impatient, or censorious to others, especially as I have still much to learn, and am so poorly influenced by what I seem to know!

I am weary of theological controversies and disputes, and desire to choose for myself, and to point out to others, Mary's part--to sit at Jesus' feet, and to hear His words. I cannot, I must not, I dare not--be contentious! Only, as a witness for God, I am ready to bear my simple testimony to what I have known of His truth, whenever I am properly called to it.

So a confirmation for me (Aside from the made up words... "teachableness"?).  This has made me change my views on how I handle a lot of things, but especially my speech about those whom I consider to be "wolves in sheep's clothing". 

Here's my view in short.  While we ARE supposed to judge the fruit of those who claim to be Christian, and we are to season our speech with grace concerning those we consider to be off in stance.  I don't think we are to IGNORE them, I don't think we are to VALIDATE them either.  Share the truth, with Love and Grace.  Randy Alcorn kept making the point during the reading that Christ wasn't full of just grace, nor was He just full of Truth.  I like Randy's illustration best for describing it.  "Christ wasn't 50% grace and 50% truth.  He was 100% grace and 100% truth."  Christ held both at once.  We are to do likewise.  While not condoning a false version of the gospel to be presented, we should help to correct others in a way that reflects Christ's method best.  TALK TO THEM, don't just LET people be led astray, but do it in love.  And if they don't receive God's words and wisdom, don't take it personal.  Keep in mind that it's not YOU they reject, it's CHRIST.  They also reject because the Spirit has not opened them to receiving, so shake the dust from your feet and move on.  LOVE THEM, of course, continue to preach to them if you can!  When a fireman enters a burning building and finds occupants unconscious and unable to help themselves (sinners dead in sin and unable to help themselves), he doesn't scoff and insult the helpless (how DARE they reject the true gospel!).  His attitude isn't one of pride (I'm conscious.. they're NOT, glad I'm not THEM).  Because he CARES about the well being of those people he makes an attempt to save them (preaching and teaching the truth, not allowing others to be deceived BECAUSE of love, not out of pride, hate, or arrogance).  If he is unable to save them he has to regretfully move on (no injury to pride, but saddened because this person could not be reached or helped), however if he is able to rescue them, everyone rejoices! 

That of course is a very loose analogy, but I think it fits.  So when discussing the teachings of those we find to be unbiblical with those that follow them, are we critical or caring?  If we happen to find ourselves in discussion with a teacher who presents false teachings are we lovingly corrective or abusive and harsh?  Any thoughts?